Jenny first volunteered to be a Samaritan when someone close to her tried to take her own life. The 28-year-old from Exeter said the hardest part of the job was the silence.
"The hardest calls for me are the ones where I don’t really get to speak to the person," she said. "There may be times when someone gathers the courage to ring us but feels unable to talk, or decides that they’re not worth our time. I hope people know that it’s okay to take their time, or call us back when they’re ready, and that they can talk to us no matter how big or small their struggle."
Jenny moved to Devon almost a decade ago from Bulgaria and works in an administrative role in the education sector. She was inspired to volunteer after someone in her life became a survivor of suicide and spoke openly about her role this week as part of the DevonLive Shatter the Silence campaign.
READ MORE: Why DevonLive is launching a campaign to prevent suicide
Samaritans offer a 24-hour hotline to anyone who needs it. Callers are connected to a volunteer who is trained to provide a neutral, non-judgemental listening ear. Jenny volunteers from the Exeter office.
She said: "While I’m lucky enough to not have lost anyone to suicide, I have someone close to me who did try to take their life. I wanted to volunteer to help people, but this experience was the biggest reason I gravitated towards volunteering with Samaritans in particular and their vision that fewer people die by suicide."
Jenny answers calls for one 3-hour long shift every week and she typically chooses to vary her shift times from day to night. Working from the branch means that volunteers always have support around them while they are having what can sometimes be especially difficult conversations.
According to the Samaritans website, they respond to a call for help around every 10 seconds. Jenny said that at her branch there is "never a quiet moment" as they answer calls from all around the UK but added that night times are generally busier.
She said: "We take calls from people of all ages and across the whole country so I would say there is almost never a quiet moment. That being said, we can take time between calls so it’s also never stressful.
"The time of day definitely makes a huge difference to how busy the service is - as you can imagine nights are the time when callers are often most in need of a listening ear and when other support services, friends and family might not be available."
Calls, which she says come from people of all ages, can be hugely varied in length, dependent on the caller's needs and it is not unheard of for her to stay on the phone to someone for an hour if they need to. Some calls can be much shorter and sometimes callers hang up before they even say anything. Jenny says this can be difficult to deal with and wants to remind people that they can take their time or call back when they feel ready.
She explained: "Call length varies a lot - it can be 5 minutes or an hour, it really depends on what the person needs. But I would say about half an hour is probably the average time for a call."
The Samaritans keep all information shared in calls confidential so that people don't have to worry about their personal struggles being shared. There are some exceptions, in which Samaritans' safeguarding policy means that details may be passed to emergency or social services if they believe someone's safety is at risk.
Jenny said: "Sharing information about a call is something we cannot do, and in fact we don’t even talk to our own friends and family about the calls. Ultimately it is really important that we respect the trust that callers put in us by sharing their stories."
Helping people in times of crisis can be difficult but Jenny says that not doing it would be "even harder to contemplate". Not only is she able to be there for those needing support but focusing on other people means she is able to step away from her own thoughts for a period of time.
She explained: "Listening to people’s struggles and most difficult feelings can be a lot to take on. But I always think that the alternative of not doing it is somehow even harder to contemplate. There’s so much value in giving someone some space to talk through their thoughts, perhaps at a time when they have no one else to listen or they feel like they’re on their own.
"The value also extends to me as a volunteer. Focusing 100% on someone else takes some getting used to but it gives me much needed perspective and time completely away from myself and my own thoughts. I also get lots of support from my fellow volunteers and there is always someone to talk to, whether it is during and after the shift, or at any other time."
Shatter the Silence
The DevonLive Shatter the Silence campaign aims to encourage anyone struggling to reach out and talk - to either a friend, relative, charity or a professional. Our campaign content will highlight just how important talking is and the difference it can make.
Ultimately, we want to reduce the number of people who die by suicide in Devon. We will highlight where to get help and show how talking has helped people come through difficult times in their lives. We will speak to families who have lost loved ones to look at the lasting impact of suicide and attempt to dismiss the inaccurate belief many people who are struggling manifest that they are a burden on the ones they love. We will look at the devastation caused to those left behind in the hope that even one reader might change their mind if they have considered taking their own life.
We will speak to people who have survived a suicide attempt and have accessed counselling or other mental health services to show that things can get better. We will speak to Samaritans volunteers about their vital work in Devon and how they are on hand 24-7 to listen. And we will offer guidance on what to say to someone who is struggling so people feel more confident to have that conversation.
Do you have a relevant story to share? Email emma.slee@reachplc.com.
WHERE TO GET HELP:
SAMARITANS offers support in a range of ways, including a self-help app, email support or by calling 116 123 for free 24 hours a day
NHS Offers advice on how to access mental health support
TALKWORKS is a free-to-access NHS service offering a variety of treatment and support for adults (aged 18+) living in Devon (excluding Plymouth)
CALM offer a free, confidential helpline 0800 58 58 58 and webchat, 7 hours a day, 7 days a week for anyone who needs to talk about life's problems
HUB OF HOPE is a mental health support database that can signpost you to local support services
ANDY'S MAN CLUB offers men a chance to talk with like-minded people. They have clubs in Devon as well as nationally
KOOTH & QWELL provides free, safe and anonymous online mental wellbeing support, including moderated peer support forums and text-based counselling, to all residents living in Devon (aged 11+)
PETE'S DRAGONS provide free-to-access support to all residents living in Devon who may have been bereaved by suicide at any point in their lives
THE MOORINGS is an emotional support service that provides telephone and face-to-face support via a drop-in service at its bases in Exeter, Barnstaple and Torquay. It is a non-clinical service but provides emotional support, signposting to other services and other general support that is tailored to the people who access it.
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Jenny is no stranger to mental health struggles in her own life, having gone through periods of anxiety and depression, which helps her to empathise with callers. As a result, she understands just how difficult asking for help can be and admires the bravery of everyone she speaks to.
She said: "There have definitely been a lot of times in my life when I’ve struggled with anxiety and some periods of depression. While it’s not easy at the time, I am very grateful because I think it has ultimately made me a much kinder person, to both myself and others. It often helps me relate to our callers and it’s given me a glimpse of how difficult it can be to share your feelings and ask for help.
"I know that when I feel low, it’s so difficult to say anything at all and it can feel like you’re useless and not worth people’s time. I’m always in awe of the people who call and are able to open up even when it’s so hard to talk."
Samaritan calls have no specific goal as the nature of each one is different. They don't offer advice or opinions, make decisions or judge but provide a space to talk through whatever the caller is struggling with. When people put the phone down, Jenny hopes that they at least feel less alone than they did before.
She said: "Every call is different - while some people might feel clearer, calmer, or even find a solution to their problem, for others it might just be the very first time they’ve been able to tell somebody what’s been going on in their life.
"My hope is that, no matter the outcome, the people I’ve spoken to feel a little bit less alone than when they first called."
The Samaritans can be reached round the clock, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you need a response immediately, it’s best to call them on the phone. You can reach them by calling 116 123, by emailing jo@samaritans.org or by visiting www.samaritans.org
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