A Devon family has paid tribute to a much-loved 34-year-old Okehampton man with a 'massive heart' who tragically took his own life after his mental health deteriorated. Graeme Anderson, also known by the surname Stewart, was reported missing to police on January 21, after he sent messages to his loved ones that gave them concern for his welfare.
He was found passed away the following day by a dog walker at a derelict disused farm building in the town. An inquest into his death was held today, September 14, at Exeter Coroners Court.
It was heard that the doting dad-of-two had a history of struggling with his mental health. Graeme had been diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder and had previously had inpatient hospital admissions in North Devon. He also disclosed suicidal thoughts in the past which were thought to be a 'cry for help'.
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Scottish-born Graeme had lived in different parts of Devon, including Barnstaple, and for a time had also lived in Oxfordshire. Before his death, he had recently returned to living with his mum Carol who told in a statement how she had been 'absolutely devastated and distraught' when she was told by police he had been found passed away.
His former partner told in a statement how he had been in good spirits but after a four-day drinking binge he 'spiralled downhill and became very distraught'.
She said: "He was a doting father with a big personality and an even bigger heart. He was the life and soul of the party and loved by all who knew him and is hugely missed."
A post-mortem examination confirmed the cause of his death was hanging. Toxicology tests found he had consumed alcohol and cocaine before his death which could have impacted on his decision-making.
Recording a conclusion of suicide, assistant coroner Louisa Nicholson said: "He had a history of mental health issues including suicidal ideations. He had been drinking and taking cocaine in the hours before his death, substances which were possibly contributory factors in taking the actions he did that day."
Shatter the Silence
The DevonLive Shatter the Silence campaign aims to encourage anyone struggling to reach out and talk - to either a friend, relative, charity or a professional. Our campaign content will highlight just how important talking is and the difference it can make.
Ultimately, we want to reduce the number of people who die by suicide in Devon. We will highlight where to get help and show how talking has helped people come through difficult times in their lives. We will speak to families who have lost loved ones to look at the lasting impact of suicide and attempt to dismiss the inaccurate belief many people who are struggling manifest that they are a burden on the ones they love. We will look at the devastation caused to those left behind in the hope that even one reader might change their mind if they have considered taking their own life.
We will speak to people who have survived a suicide attempt and have accessed counselling or other mental health services to show that things can get better. We will speak to Samaritans volunteers about their vital work in Devon and how they are on hand 24-7 to listen. And we will offer guidance on what to say to someone who is struggling so people feel more confident to have that conversation.
Do you have a relevant story to share? Email emma.slee@reachplc.com.
WHERE TO GET HELP:
SAMARITANS offers support in a range of ways, including a self-help app, email support or by calling 116 123 for free 24 hours a day
NHS Offers advice on how to access mental health support
TALKWORKS is a free-to-access NHS service offering a variety of treatment and support for adults (aged 18+) living in Devon (excluding Plymouth)
CALM offer a free, confidential helpline 0800 58 58 58 and webchat, 7 hours a day, 7 days a week for anyone who needs to talk about life's problems
HUB OF HOPE is a mental health support database that can signpost you to local support services
ANDY'S MAN CLUB offers men a chance to talk with like-minded people. They have clubs in Devon as well as nationally
KOOTH & QWELL provides free, safe and anonymous online mental wellbeing support, including moderated peer support forums and text-based counselling, to all residents living in Devon (aged 11+)
PETE'S DRAGONS provide free-to-access support to all residents living in Devon who may have been bereaved by suicide at any point in their lives
THE MOORINGS is an emotional support service that provides telephone and face-to-face support via a drop-in service at its bases in Exeter, Barnstaple and Torquay. It is a non-clinical service but provides emotional support, signposting to other services and other general support that is tailored to the people who access it.
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Following the inquest, his family paid tribute to Graeme and urged others to seek help if they are struggling with their mental health.
They said: "There isn’t a lot of help out there for men with mental health and not enough men speak up. Graeme was loved so much by all his family, especially his nieces and nephews."
"He had a massive heart and would do anything for anyone."
