The advert popped up on my social media feed. It said: “A rare opportunity to acquire an English professional football club with 125 years of Football League heritage.”
It went on to list the attributes of this prospective purchase, including ‘a passionately devoted “Yellow Army” fan base and foundations in place for a relatively swift transition back to the EFL’. Lease runs until 2081, it said. Nominal rent, it said.
Accommodation includes stadium with 6,200 capacity, club-run public house and indoor bowls club. It’s a snip. It’s a steal. Who wouldn’t want to snap that up?
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It was a property ad with a difference. It was written with tongue in cheek, but it served its purpose well. If you want it, here it is, come and get it. The fact that Torquay United is for sale, lock, stock, and barrel, is something we have had to get used to very quickly.
This time last week there was no hint that this was coming, just a simmering atmosphere of discontent which went from the top of the club to Popside and took in everything in between. A simmering resentment that permeated the whole place and made the matchday experience less than pleasant.
Gary Johnson’s Thursday morning press conference carried not a single clue of what was to come. I have listened to my recording again and gone through it all in my mind. Gary and his assistant Aaron Downes did not have any inkling and talked only of football matters. Just over two hours later came the announcement that owner Clarke Osborne was standing down and administration was being prepared. A few hours after that Gary Johnson was gone too.
Suddenly the whole club could be bought by pretty much anyone who wanted it, and the club’s comms team even prepared that half-joking property ad for their social media channels. Oddly, with the club facing the darkest time in its 125-year history and knowledgeable people talking about liquidation, winding up and phoenix clubs, the atmosphere on Saturday was transformed.
One long-serving and long-suffering Gulls fan said to me that it was as if a troublesome boil had been lanced, and he was right. Fans talked about better times ahead and the man from the supporters trust had given away his entire supply of promotional cards long before kick-off.
The pressure and pain of the last few home games was gone. In its place came a crowd of 3,642 souls, peppered among them big-hearted supporters from other clubs such as Argyle who had come to show their support and solidarity in our hour of need. Even the sun shone.
Just a few days beforehand, a 2-2 draw with Aveley might not have been quite so warmly greeted, but this draw was a cause for celebration. We applauded the players and the players applauded us. Aaron Downes, now the interim manager, was even cajoled into a fist-pumping celebration. We all went home with smiles on our faces, until we sat down later and thought about what might actually happen in the coming days.
This situation is moving quickly, and by the time you read this a buyer may have been found, stepping in just in time to avoid the dreaded administration and all that goes with it, including a big points deduction. Because make no mistake, despite the lancing of the boil and a Saturday afternoon of smiles in the sunshine, we are at our darkest hour.
Who will buy Torquay United, and what will they do with it once they have? Torbay Council will not surrender the freehold of the ground, that much we know for sure. Clarke Osborne’s parting press release referred obliquely to what must have been long and arduous negotiations with the Town Hall.
We know meetings were held, but they ended with the council, quite rightly, underlining the fact that Plainmoor is not for disposal under any circumstances. Was it this one final, emphatic ‘no’ that finally precipitated the owner’s departure?
Was it the realisation that after six years of planning, one big reveal of a wildly ambitious stadium proposal, an occasional statement to the fans and just one vanilla interview in a local newspaper, there was just no way forward?
Now we search for a new owner who will take on a club at its lowest ebb and restore it to its former status. Will it ever be a league club again, or are the ultra-competitive but unfashionable leagues just below the EFL the places where we will ply our trade from now on?
Is there maybe another Ryan Reynolds out there? He’s the Hollywood star who played Deadpool, and then used some of his riches to bankroll the extraordinary rise of Wrexham.
How we ridiculed them when they came to play at Plainmoor, flaunting their wealth and fame, but how we would love somebody to come and do the same for us right now.
Who will it be? Will we be re-naming the Family Stand the Wee Jimmy Krankie Family Stand?
Or maybe John Cleese will indulge his own comedy legacy and we’ll be standing on the Basil and Sybil Fawlty Popular Terrace.
More likely will be the arrival of a businessman or woman, maybe at the head of a consortium, who will plough in enough money to keep us afloat and maybe begin to make steady progress for a while.
Oh for a rich celebrity fan right now. What would Peter Cook do? Trebles all round!
