With pride and bravery in her voice, Ocean Hill declares she is a suicide survivor. The 45-year-old now works as an aesthetics practitioner at Unorthodoxx Studio in Barnstaple.
On World Suicide Prevention Day - Sunday, September 10, Ocean will be donating all the money she makes that day to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) Northern Devon and Rethink Mental Illness community outreach team in North Devon.
The theme for this year's World Suicide Prevention Day is ‘creating hope through action’. Around 100 people take their own life in Devon every year, the majority of whom have had no contact with mental health services. Adult mental health services provider Devon Partnership Trust is sharing its Letter of Hope written by adults for other adults and the Letter for Tomorrow, written by young people for other young people.
Read more: Suicide survivor says 'storm has passed' after crucial diagnosis
Both letters are intended to provide hope and encouragement to people who are facing difficult times. The letters are available in multiple formats, including audio.
Here is Ocean's story in her own words about the battles she has overcome and the advice she would like to share with anyone who is currently struggling with their mental health:
I've come a long way and it's been a long, trying road but I've done it and have come out of the other side. Over 10 years ago, I managed to find myself in a controlling abusive relationship. Before I knew it I was isolated living in the middle of nowhere. I was not allowed a phone, access to the internet or friends.
I had been brainwashed into thinking no one loved me, not even my parents, and nobody wanted me apart from him. I decided I couldn't take anymore as I had never felt so alone; I hadn't spoken to any other adult for months.
I took an overdose which, thankfully, didn't work. I woke up in hospital on a ward with secured doors and windows and was eventually released into the arms of my dad who had been contacted by the hospital.
He looked after me; he got me standing again and helped me back on my feet, also with the help of medication. It took me months to learn to trust and to hold a conversation with people - everyday silly things you take for granted.
I noticed no one was available for counselling or to talk to. Only the Samaritans were open 24/7 when I felt low as it's not a magical recovery; it takes time and unfortunately, depression doesn't always fall into those times when most places were open.
Shatter the Silence
The DevonLive Shatter the Silence campaign aims to encourage anyone struggling to reach out and talk - to either a friend, relative, charity or a professional. Our campaign content will highlight just how important talking is and the difference it can make.
Ultimately, we want to reduce the number of people who die by suicide in Devon. We will highlight where to get help and show how talking has helped people come through difficult times in their lives. We will speak to families who have lost loved ones to look at the lasting impact of suicide and attempt to dismiss the inaccurate belief many people who are struggling manifest that they are a burden on the ones they love. We will look at the devastation caused to those left behind in the hope that even one reader might change their mind if they have considered taking their own life.
We will speak to people who have survived a suicide attempt and have accessed counselling or other mental health services to show that things can get better. We will speak to Samaritans volunteers about their vital work in Devon and how they are on hand 24-7 to listen. And we will offer guidance on what to say to someone who is struggling so people feel more confident to have that conversation.
Do you have a relevant story to share? Email emma.slee@reachplc.com.
WHERE TO GET HELP:
SAMARITANS offers support in a range of ways, including a self-help app, email support or by calling 116 123 for free 24 hours a day
NHS Offers advice on how to access mental health support
TALKWORKS is a free-to-access NHS service offering a variety of treatment and support for adults (aged 18+) living in Devon (excluding Plymouth)
CALM offer a free, confidential helpline 0800 58 58 58 and webchat, 7 hours a day, 7 days a week for anyone who needs to talk about life's problems
HUB OF HOPE is a mental health support database that can signpost you to local support services
ANDY'S MAN CLUB offers men a chance to talk with like-minded people. They have clubs in Devon as well as nationally
KOOTH & QWELL provides free, safe and anonymous online mental wellbeing support, including moderated peer support forums and text-based counselling, to all residents living in Devon (aged 11+)
PETE'S DRAGONS provide free-to-access support to all residents living in Devon who may have been bereaved by suicide at any point in their lives
THE MOORINGS is an emotional support service that provides telephone and face-to-face support via a drop-in service at its bases in Exeter, Barnstaple and Torquay. It is a non-clinical service but provides emotional support, signposting to other services and other general support that is tailored to the people who access it.
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I now work as an aesthetics practitioner at Unorthodoxx Studio on Boutport Street in Barnstaple. We're an alternative-looking bunch full of tattoos, piercings and dreadlocks. I wear my life story with ink.
I spend every day making people feel good about themselves, giving them life advice and also even being a friend to clients. I enjoy boosting their confidence and teaching them to love themselves again.
I have noticed so many people taking their lives on a bridge near me. If I could sit there day and night I would do. I just need people to know others have been where they are and have felt how they feel.
I found happiness eventually. It took me a long time but for every fall I took I became stronger with each step.
That feeling of being alone and unworthy is so suffocating. If anyone ever feels that way where they can't take anymore then I'm here and so are many others. Strangers have the best no-judgment advice because they don't know you.
The shop Unorthodox which Alison and Jon run is a safe haven non-judgemental place for people to be. I hope by me sharing my story, this can stop just one person from ending their life and help.
There is nothing I haven't been through and I mean nothing. I have now found an amazing husband, I have a great relationship with my dad and a career I love.
But I will never forget that feeling when I hit rock bottom. It never leaves you but that's okay as it makes me realise how lucky I am and how strong I am too. I had to learn to love me and live with just myself so when I did meet someone he was an added bonus to my life.
